Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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