I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
