that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
