Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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