I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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