Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
