Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
