you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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