It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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