Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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