# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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