The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
