Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
