He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
