OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
