You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
