none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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