some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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