That's intense
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
