just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
No subtext here. People are naked.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
