That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
