Sponge bath it is.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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