i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
