you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
