so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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