May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
