bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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