I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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