my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
