You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
