just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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