If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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