just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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