I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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