Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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