To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
this hospital has no fireball
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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