hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize