I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
