I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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