If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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