I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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