And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
