Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
