If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize