He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize