how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
