your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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