I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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