Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
