There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize