In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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