remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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