Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize