Will you blow on my dice?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
