In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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