u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
where are you?
Hypothermia
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
