i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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