Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
