I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
