I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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